Lots of time to think here at work. So it's a non-cycling/eating post.
But a friends email really hit home as did a Steve Earle song. His email told me his 21 year nephew was killed in the war. So in a way now I know someone killed in the war. I'm saddened by his loss and his frustration over the war and GW.(Check his blog Lonestarbear). Many parallels to my life here. That will come later in the post.
As he pointed out. It would have been his nephews first Fathers Day,he has a one year old son.
So here's a baby and young mother that will grow up missing many milestones in life. Sure, she may remarry someday. His stepfather maybe everything to him(which would be great) But the memories are there and his Dad is gone. All for what?
Now how does Steve Earle fit in? Here's the song line.
Half a million men fly across the water.
One in ten ain't ever never coming back again.
Fifty thousand sons that never could be fathers.
Don't you ever wonder ? What could have been?
Sure hits the nail on the head. And "W" hates Steve. It's almost like the whole John Lennon thing with the government. Steve is on the hit list because he sings songs that make people think about the war and he's outspoken against it. Yeah, lets fear the rocker. He's the real root of all evil in the world.
I found my father dead at age 15. Sure he was the prototypical 50's Dad. Provide shelter and food for the family. Not a big emotional attachment. He was always at work. Anything we did together was his likes and interests. He didn't like anything I did. He really hated motorcylcles and was convinced I'd grow up to be a Hell's Angel instead of a pro golfer. But the point here is he was my Dad. He did the best he could,there was no manual on how to be a good Dad.
Now I accepted the fact he was dead,pretty fast. But was was hardest is knowing the things we'd never share that most father/sons go through. Mom remarried twice and I accepted these new men as my Dad. Hell they didn't marry me. I was just part of the package. I always introduced both of them as my Dad. They were proud of that. I never went through the "You're not my Dad" anger some people do. Because they had become that. Thanks to both of you. I've buried three fathers. Lucky for me. I have the best Mom in the world. Nope sorry,she is.
But I do enjoy seeing my friends do things with their Dad's and know that they really enjoy their Dad.
So I'll do my ride down to Pa. Clean up Dad's grave and reflect for awhile. Chuckle that he's probably pissed off I came on the chopper and not in a car. But that was Dad.
I know he's seen me grow up. As will my friend's nephew will be with him in spirit. Someday things will happen to that kid and he won't have a clue why. But something inside of him will know it was a message from Dad. Saying "Way to go kid, you make me proud." Maybe he'll look at the ground or maybe he'll look to the sky. But I'll bet he'll smile and it will make his day.
So take a moment today and thank your parents or whoever matters in your life and say, Thanks for being you.
Enjoy life. OGQ
1 comment:
I read your post with tears in my eyes – tears of sadness as well as tears of gratitude for your thoughtful post.
Thanks for not saying, “He died for our freedom.” I know people mean well when they say that, and I’m sure most honestly believe it will offer some sort of comfort, but it really doesn’t. At least for me. I’m not sure what this war is about, but it isn’t about our freedom.
My nephew died a hero, of that I’m sure. He and five of his buddies were racing to the scene of a downed helicopter when they were all struck down by a roadside bomb. I’m grateful that death was instantaneous, that they didn’t suffer, and that they weren’t captured and tortured as some have been.
The day before what was left of his body arrived home was his wife’s 22nd birthday. That afternoon she answered the door to find a delivery man there with a bouquet of flowers. The card read, “Happy Birthday! I love you very much, and am so proud of our family.” Talk about a message of love from beyond the grave.
What was truly amazing was the tremendous show of support from his fellow soldiers. At the funeral home there were soldiers standing at attention at the foot and head of the casket throughout the night. Many had come from far away just to be with our family. There were also (and you’ll love this) about 40-50 veterans of all ages who rode their motorcycles to the funeral home and lined the walks, each holding an American flag, in silent tribute. They come to all military funerals now in case anti-war protesters show up. If the protesters show up, they line up their motorcycles and gun the engines to drown out their chants. Thankfully, that didn’t happen, but in a strange way it was kind of comforting to know that, even though they didn’t know him, these men and women put aside their daily activities to show their respect for a fallen comrade.
One can question the war and still respect the service of these young men and women. I question the war every day, but never the commitment of these brave soldiers.
Thanks, too, for sharing your personal story of your step-fathers. Life is for the living, and what a terrific testimony of the power of love when a spouse remarries. It says to me that they really loved being married and sharing their life with another. I know my nephew and his wife were truly in love and had a strong marriage that would have gone the distance. I hope this amazing young woman and her son will some day be able to find someone who truly loves them and will want to share his life with theirs.
Thanks for being my friend! HUGS
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