The Gravity of Reason.

After a day and night with the grand kids. The Traveling Mice awoke early and crept out of the house under cover of darkness and headed for their maiden voyage on the Freedom of the Seas.

With a an air of trepidation the Mice headed to Miami. Where everybody has a cousin.

After the usual airline delays. Our plane landed on time. I'm beginning to think they build in the delay. Then make it up to make you feel better about their service. We deplaned and got our bags to find a friendly rep from the Royal Caribbean team. They got us and our luggage right on the bus. A short bus ride with a very funny driver. Who gave us the nickel tour of Miami. Both the "highs" and the "lows". We did see some local color. Boarding and customs was a snap. Mom take note and do online registration. We were on board and headed for our first buffet in fifteen minutes. But first we checked out or room in steerage. Nice and pleasant. With a good size window. Back to the buffet. Quite the variety. We chowed down and headed for a tour of the ship. That's our window on the world for the next week.At 4:15 we had our evacuation drill. All ran smoothly and back to our exploration. In the immortal words of Mrs Page. HUGE. But all very nice. The ship is only three years old so it wasn't showing any wear.. Each night they fold your towels into some sort of animal. Clever. Fun.

We went to dinner,casual tonight. Where we met our dining companions. They were from Quebec. Denise,Lucy, Diane and Gosylyn. Fun people. Lucy became our translator. The food was very good. Our waitstaff was from Bali and were excellent. After dinner more touring of the ship and a drink on the promenade for what would turn out to be our favorite activity,people watching. Off to bed. Day one was travel at sea. Our first port of call will be Haiti.

We awoke to our new port. Off to the dining room for breakfast. Part of the fun was meeting new people. We departed and went to the "compound". This was a manufactured village,that was supposed to represent Haitian life. Yikes, you quickly tired of them hassling you to buy something. The weather was just a bit off for the reptile to get in water. Back on the boat and it was formal dinner night. The mice dressed appropriately. Then what was to become a nightly thing we hit the promenade. Each night had a theme. This really being the welcome night. Now another thing we began to notice was the outfits some females wore. I was thinking most would never wear those at home. But hard to tell. Lots of stilettos. The classic was the "hooker mom and daughter" combo. Lots of T&A. It was a pervs paradise if you like young flesh. The other end was the Dad and Grandpas decked out in Billabong or American Eagle. I'm sure they never thought they'd be wearing that. City Mouse found a community bulletin board. Lo and behold "The Friends of Dorothy" were having a meeting at four. Hmmm? Put that on the itinerary for tomorrow. Back in our berth. We found an elephant on our bed. No seasickness or detection of the ship rocking. We went to see the stars.

Port of call. Jamaica. A quick boat ride over to shore and we guided through the fence and razor wire for a little shopping. Even in the "tourist" zone we had far too many pan handlers. A short walk had us in "Straw City" maybe not the best place to be. While City Mouse was using the internet Country Mouse checked out a few shops. Had a sample of Jamaican Blue Note coffee where upon the shop owner offered me "something better". It's cool, it's Jamaica Mon" he said.

Ahh, no thanks. Chuckle. We wended our way through some fun shops and I picked up some bracelets with our names on them. Local trade. Then we decided to be real tourists and hit Margaritaville. We had,what else? A mango margarita. To the tune of 34 dollars for two. Collectors glass included so minus fifteen for the glasses. But they knew how to work the crowd here. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. We made our way back to the ship for lunch. Buffet number two. We saw it today. The feeding frenzy. There were fins to the left and fins to the right. Big eaters all here. Then I signed up for the rock climbing. Nice wall made it all the way up.That would be a return trip. Off to the deck for some sun. Now this is what we came for. Sun, heat,clear blue sky. A quick shower and we went in search of the Friends of Dorothy. Odd they were disguised as physicians. No shows even though we saw other members on board. Out to the sunshine for a drink before dinner. Tonight we caught a show after dinner. A tribute to Broadway. Not bad. The promenade awaited for "Dancing to the 80's". City Mouse would cringe whenever the cruise director came on. This was billed as three thousand people dancing in the streets. More like three with 2993 watching. Then all hell broke loose. The shrill noise of a psycho teenager flipping out on her parents. City mouse was quite taken by this display of outrage by the young lady. Me I see it often at work. One man walked by and told her "she needed to take her meds." That was funny. She was too busy yelling to hear him. But the crowd was fun. Just like college we began to name people by their traits. Tonight out towels became bats.

Port of call Cayman Islands. Today we booked a trip to swim with the stingrays. This would turn out to be the highlight of the trip. The guys running the tour were fun and really friendly. The sky clear blue as was the water. About a 45 minute ride out to the sandbar. Now as the guides described the rays were like puppies that had been fed,but still wild. In the water went the patrons. Sure enough the rays glided right up looking for food. Bumping and nudging you. Big and small ones. When you got to hold them. They had these big yellow lizard like eyes. They felt like a wet portobello mushroom. Very fun. Snorkeling around and seeing them slip under you. Touch them as they went by.After about an hour it was back to town. Another Maragaritaville beckoned. Where we had a Cheeseburger in Paradise. Not bad,not the best burger I've ever had. A different crowd here. But they were doing free shots of tequila. Our them right down your throat type of thing. Odd here they didn't play and Buffet. back to the boat for a little more sun and a beer. Tonight I broke down and had a martini before the show. Gin has not passed my lips in seven years after the near death experience. A vodka and Poma martini made it into the line up as did an appletini. I'll stick to beer. Good beer. But gin will always be it for martinis for me.

We hit the comedy show. They had some uncalled for anti gay humor that pretty much ruined that for us. More people watching awaited.

Port of call Cozumel. Now I've always wanted to see Mayan ruins and today would be the day.

The flyer said a short boat ride and a short bus ride. We boarded a catamaran and headed to land. OOOH, I hit the point of maybe throwing up would be better. But made it through and landed Ok. Well the short trips took two and a half hours. Then a speedy look through the ruins.

They were very cool. Back on the bus for another ride to our lunch at the beach. Country Mouse made it in the water. Mother Ocean was doing her job cleaning out my sinuses. Then it was rush rush rush to get back. This was the kind of off boat excursion you hear about. Tonight we did a late seating for dinner. We met a guy who worked for the cruise line. He and his Cuban girlfriend were funny. Tonight we would also met the ex pro basketball player Stu Shine. Like Shoe shine his wife said. Funny.great guy. Our towels became a cobra today.

Overall if you have any doubts about a cruise. Don't hesitate. Do it. We had a great week on our floating city. If you can't find something to do or don't have a good time it's your fault. The food was very good. Service was generally excellent. You'll garner all kinds of tips from people who have cruised before. Our only glitch was at departure and part of that was our fault. But it all worked out.

At the Miami airport Country Mouse recognized Mario Batali and we had our picture taken with him. Foodies at heart we are.

I like mine with lettuce and tomato,Heinz 57 and french fried potatoes. Big Kosher pickle and a cold draft beer. Good God almighty which way do I steer for my...............................

Enjoy life. We sure do. OGQ